Why Do People Leave Cults?People leave cults for a variety of reasons. After becoming aware of hypocrisy and/or corruption within the cult, converts who have maintained an element of independence and some connection with their old values may simply walk out disillusioned. Other members may leave because they have become weary of a routine of proselytizing and fund-raising. Sometimes even the most dedicated members may feel so inadequate in the face of the cults demands that they walk away, not because they have stopped believing, but because they feel like abject failures. Still others may renounce the cult after reconnecting to old values, goals, interests, or relationships, resulting from visits with parents, talks with ex-members, or counseling. Is Leaving a Cult Easy?Persons who consider leaving a cult are usually pressured to stay. Some ex-members say that they spent months, even years, trying to garner the strength to walk out. Some felt so intimidated that they departed secretly. Although most cult members eventually walk out on their own, parental alarm should not be discounted. First, many, if not most, who leave cults on their own are psychologically harmed, often in ways which they do not understand. Second, some cultists never leave, and some of these are severely harmed. And third, there is no way to predict who will leave, who wont leave, or who will be harmed. Consequently, to dismiss parental concern out of hand is analogous to dismissing concerns about youthful marijuana smoking because most youths who try marijuana do not become substance abusers. What is Exit Counseling & How Does It Differ from Deprogramming?Exit counseling and deprogramming both involve talking to cult members (sometimes in long sessions spread over many days) in order to help them recognize manipulative, deceitful, and exploitative cult practices, reconnect to pre-cult personal attachments, beliefs, values, and goals, and reestablish the ability to think independently and critically. But they differ in a least one very significant way. Deprogramming, unlike exit counseling, is traditionally associated with a "rescue" process, in which family members (usually parents) hire a deprogramming team to force the cultist to "listen to the other side of the story." During the early and mid-1970s, dozens of newspaper stories and at least a half-dozen books described dramatic tales of deprogrammers "snatching" adult children of parents desperately concerned about their childrens cult involvement. Although cult-supported propaganda depicted deprogramming as a lurid, violent process, the overwhelming majority of deprogrammings were, other than the initial "snatching," quite peaceful. Many deprogrammed ex-members have remarked that they were surprised by the respect and genuine concern shown them. Deprogramming was, of course, controversial. Many observers, including large numbers of cult critics, opposed it because:
I have used the past tense in describing deprogramming because it rarely occurs today, partly because of legal risks, but mostly because workers in this field have become more skilled at helping family members persuade cult-involved relatives to participate voluntarily in exit counseling. Exit counselors, who have begun to organize in order to become more effective and professional, have begun work on a code to guide their behavior. Their growing professionalism is a significant development for cult-affected families.
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